Thursday, November 22, 2007

HOLIDAY TREE


I just finished reading Matthew Lysiak's article "Holiday Tree Again Called Christmas Tree in Bay Ridge" and I don't know what I find more surprising: that they actually called a Christmas tree a Holiday tree or that Marty Golden is an Irish-Catholic.

With a name like Marty Golden, my wife and I swore he was part of the tribe. But an Irish-Catholic? Who knew?

While I'd like to thank Linda Allegretti for being considerate of the Jewish and Islamic communities, calling a Christmas Tree anything else is silly. You don't see us calling the menorah a holiday menorah. It's a -- "Hey, what's with the oil!? It was only suppose to last one day and we're already into next week and it's still burning. Such a deal!" -- menorah.

And the Christmas tree is a -- "Hey look! Someone's coming down the chimney. I think it's Jesus. Jesus!? Holy Christ, the place is a mess! What are we going to do? There's no time to clean. Quick, go chop down a tree. We'll decorate it and maybe he won't notice the mess. Wait! That's not Jesus. Who is that? How the hell did that tub-o-lard make it down the chimney? I don't know and I don't care because he's leaving us presents. Presents!? What the -- ?! He looks hungry. I'm scared. Give him some cookies before he eats us" -- tree.

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