SHAMELESS IPHONE APPEAL

You may be saying right now, "Wow, Mark is incredibly solipsistic and greedy, asking people to buy him an iPhone."

But let me explain.

We have wedding registries, baby shower registries, gift registries, etc., but no "Ah Hell I Just Want That But Don't Want To Get Married Or Have A Baby To Ask For It" registries.

One of my 2012 resolutions is to promote "Personal Life" registries. These are just like wedding and baby shower registries, but without the weddings or the babies.

And with ChipIn you don't even have to buy the whole thing. Throw in a dollar (or more if you like) and - boom - you've made someone happy.

Then go and create your own Personal Life Registry.

STEVE JOBS RESIGNS AS CEO

Steve Jobs resigned as CEO of Apple today. Tim Cook will replace him.

Can the behemoth company survive without the leadership of Jobs?

GARAGE SALE

What do you get when you cross a pack-rat with a downsizing of your living space? A helluva lot of left over crap crammed in a storage unit. (Okay, maybe that's not the best punchline in the world but it's better than Carrot Top's A-material)

It's been a year since the crap entered the storage unit and it's time to shove it off onto other people. So we're preparing for a garage sale. I found an article on how to have a successful garage sale on Money Crashers. It covers everything from planning to throwing the sale. Oh sure, any idiot can throw a garage sale, but I always say "there's only one letter separating a 'garage' sale from a 'garbage' sale."

What are your secrets for a successful garage sale?

AMY WINEHOUSE'S LAST PUBLIC APPEARANCE

Amy Winehouse's last public appearance at the iTunes Festival in London as her teenage goddaughter, Dionne Bromfield, sings Mama Said.

WEINERS AND HYPOCRISY

Weinergate continues to rage on. People are screaming for Anthony Tweets Weiner to step down. But should he? Rachel Maddow does a great piece on the Republican hypocrisy, Anthony Weiner and the David Vitter Effect.

BREAST MASSEUR

Okay, time for a career change. After reading how Xia Jun became the first man in China to be a certified Breast Masseur after only 3-months of training, I'm packing my bags and heading to China with a dream to be the second certified Breast Masseur.

And for those of you who think it's just about the chance to fondle breasts, look at the reasoning of Xia.

Xia has stated that having his female employees sent for the same training would not be a wise investment, citing fears of high employee turnover after acquiring new breast-massaging techniques. Instead, Xia wisely suggests that it'd be more cost efficient to have his male managers teach his female employees the necessary breast-massage techniques.

See? Teach the men how to do it and they can teach the women, because if you send women to be trained they'll leave their jobs to be professional Breast Massage Therapists, as opposed to sending the men to learn and then teach the women because then the women won't leave their jobs. Totally makes sense.

Photo courtesy Shanghaist or some creepy lurking guy.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

The picture speaks for itself.

THE ROYAL WEDDING SCEPTER

Here's one for the old neighborhood.


Kudos to Prince William and Kate Middleton for reviving a long forgotten English tradition:

The First Royal Public Fellatus.

Afterward, the thousands of onlookers cried, "God save the Queen!"

NO PANTS SUBWAY RIDE 2011

I never thought I'd say it but No Pants Subway Ride 2011 makes me miss NYC.

On Sunday, January 9th, 2011 over 5,000 people took off their pants on subways in 48 cities in 22 countries around the world. In New York, our 10th Annual No Pants Subway Ride had over 3,500 participants, spread out over six meeting points and ten subway lines.

BMUP IN ROAD

In a scathing response to a Los Angeles Times article about teacher effectiveness in the Los Angeles Unified School District, one non-union teacher makes several spelling and grammatical errors.

teacherm at 8:41 PM August 16, 2010
I am a nonunionized teacher who works at a charter school. This article is so shallow its ridiculous. Yes test scores are low district wide, yes its a problem, but to determine the "effectiveness" of a teacher based on one standardized test is completely preposterous! This test is only covers math and language arts. There are four other subjects elementary school teachers are still required to teach. In all the state mandated proffessional development I have participated in, I have been taught to assess the WHOLE child. I taught one second grader who was able to read at fourth grade reading level and consistently had high math test grades, yet he scored basic on the test. Should I retain him because of this? NO! How can teachers be assessed by just looking at test scores? The WHOLE teacher needs to be assessed. This article doesn't even come close to describing what an effective teacher is and how one should be evaluated.