Monday, March 10, 2008


What do you do when a new study shows 60% of Catholics in Italy have stopped going to confession?

Add more sins.

That's right, just when I thought I had a grasp on the Original Magnificent Seven, the Pope goes and adds Seven more.

The Original Magnificent Seven:

1. Pride

2. Envy

3. Gluttony

4. Lust

5. Anger

6. Greed

7. Sloth

I was really really good at all of them, usually accomplishing all of them by noon.

The new Seven are:

1. ``Bioethical' violations such as birth control

2. ``Morally dubious'' experiments such as stem cell research

3. Drug abuse

4. Polluting the environment

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor

6. Excessive wealth

7. Creating poverty

What's the cutoff for being excessively wealthy? Bill Gates, you're going to hell! I don't care if you're donating your money to charity. You're excessively wealthy. Number 6 on the new list, baby!

Not recycling? Go to hell!

Dubya, you're widening the divide between rich and poor with those tax cuts. Go to hell!

Um, what about all those priests with the alter boys? Would that be a "morally dubious" sin or a "bioethical" violation?

1 comment:

George Pataki said...

Governor Spitzer, aka "client #9, you and your 'high-class' army of prostitutes can GO TO HELL!!!!