Dolly Parton was the featured songwriter last night on American Idol. Don't get me wrong, I love Dolly Parton. I think she's a genuinely sweet woman and a terrific songwriter. But for the love of Moses, what was the deal with her face? And I'm not even talking about the multiple face lifts she's obviously had. I'm talking about her dunking her face in a vat of embalming makeup. My god, her foundation was "picket fence" white and her lipstick was "hemoglobin" red. And that was it. Just those two colors. Dolly, there are more colors on the palette. A little peach, a little plum. Something. Anything. You have a coat of many colors. Apply some of them to your face.
