VOTE FOR ME

That does it. I'm running for Governor of NY State. Why? Because Governors of NY get more action in the bed than anyone I know.

First Spitzer and his Girls Gone Wild Ho, and then the new Governor, David Paterson

acknowledged yesterday that he has had affairs with "a number of women" in the past.

A number of women!? And he hasn't even been in office more than 48 hours!!

And in a move to challenge the McSkeevey's from NJ, Paterson's wife revealed she also has had affairs.

I had no takers and no action in bed when I offered to help our country's undersexed ranking. So, Albany, here I come!

I'M GOING TO SLEEP WITH HILLARY

I asked how long it would be before "Kristen," Eliot Mess's whore, would come out with a book or film. Seems she works faster in the entertainment biz than the whoring biz.

Ashley Alexandra Dupré netted a couple thousand dollars from her sex romp with Eliot Spitzer - but she stands to make millions from the scandal.

Penthouse wants her. Hustler wants her. All the morning shows want her. One of her songs was played on the radio. Her songs are being downloaded left and right.

"She is no doubt going to do a book. There will probably be a movie," he said. "I think she is going to have so many offers coming in that it will probably be wishful thinking just to get in the door."

Now how do I sleep with Hillary?

SPITZER'S HO HO HO

The NY Times has discovered the identity of Eliot Mess's prostitute. Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Here's her myspace page.

The Times basically repeats everything that's on her page, so why should I bother? Go take a look for yourself. And all the time ask yourself, "Is she worth $4300.00 and a ruined career?"

ELIOT QUITZER TAKE 2

Quitzer is live. Wife by his side. She looks grim, but hot. I'm just saying.

Yep, he's quitting. Resigning on March 17. Patterson will be the new Governor.

Quitzer is leaving politics for good. Man, talk about a plummet faster than the 2007 Mets.

And the conference is over. Short and sweet. In, out, bada bing.

How long will his wife stay with him?

So starting March 17, Patterson, legally blind, will be leading our state. Talk about the blind leading the blind.

And now -- how long before "Kristen" comes out with a tell-all book? Can you say Showtime movie?

ELIOT QUITZER

According to CNN, Eliot Mess will announce his resignation at 11:30 am today. Stay tuned.