TA TA, TANNENBAUM

We bid a fond farewell to our Christmas tree last night. It was a beautiful and perfect tree. We shall miss it greatly.

JEW-USULAM ORNAMENTS

So we got our tree from the lovely nursery at 68th and 7th. At least I think it's 68th. Could be 69th. I can't remember, but it's the only nursery out there. Anyway, we schlepped it home, put it up, and trimmed ol' Tannenbaum. And what do Jews use for decorations? Dreidels and Chinese Take-Out boxes, 'natch.

OH TANNENBAUM

Ok, we're getting a Christmas tree but we're not sure of the best place. We may drive to the Garden State and chop one down ourselves at a tree farm or we may just drive to some place in Brooklyn and pay someone to shove it in our car.

Anyone have any suggestions of where to get a good tree in Brooklyn? I understand one grows here.

HOLIDAY TREE

I just finished reading Matthew Lysiak's article "Holiday Tree Again Called Christmas Tree in Bay Ridge" and I don't know what I find more surprising: that they actually called a Christmas tree a Holiday tree or that Marty Golden is an Irish-Catholic.

With a name like Marty Golden, my wife and I swore he was part of the tribe. But an Irish-Catholic? Who knew?

While I'd like to thank Linda Allegretti for being considerate of the Jewish and Islamic communities, calling a Christmas Tree anything else is silly. You don't see us calling the menorah a holiday menorah. It's a -- "Hey, what's with the oil!? It was only suppose to last one day and we're already into next week and it's still burning. Such a deal!" -- menorah.

And the Christmas tree is a -- "Hey look! Someone's coming down the chimney. I think it's Jesus. Jesus!? Holy Christ, the place is a mess! What are we going to do? There's no time to clean. Quick, go chop down a tree. We'll decorate it and maybe he won't notice the mess. Wait! That's not Jesus. Who is that? How the hell did that tub-o-lard make it down the chimney? I don't know and I don't care because he's leaving us presents. Presents!? What the -- ?! He looks hungry. I'm scared. Give him some cookies before he eats us" -- tree.