MY MORNING CABOODLE

What did I say!? What did I say?

The suicide of a Brooklyn pharmacy owner at the center of a multimillion-dollar steroid scandal is focusing more scrutiny on a mobbed-up movie producer, law enforcement sources said Tuesday.

The plot, she is a thickening.


RUDY RUDY RUDY


After running a crafty campaign, Rudy is dropping out of the race. Now what's next for America's Mayor? I hear he's going to open a 7-11 and change the name to 9-11.


BRITNEY HAS MENTAL ISSUES, Y'ALL



In some "welcome to the neighborhood" news, Britney Spears' manager said the pop-wreck has mental issues. Really!? Mental issues!? What a surprise!


BUT SHE'S GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY



Dubya wants to jump start the economy? Give us more of the pop-wreck. The Southern Nutjob contributes $110 million - $120 million to the economy. And she's certainly doing what she can -

she was spotted Sunday night with Mr. Lufti at the Hustler Hollywood sex shop, where the two reportedly picked up some saucy toys.

RUDY WATCH - SECOND REPORT

With 62% reporting -

McCain - 36%
Romney - 31%
Rudy - 15%

McCain has been announced the winner (although we know what happened in Florida in 2000)

Hillary won in a landslide but doesn't get any delegates. Sort of a hollow victory for her.

RUDY WATCH - FIRST REPORT

With 35% reporting, Rudy's plan of lulling the others into a false sense of security is right on target.

McCain - 34%
Romney - 32%
Rudy - 15%

Go get 'em, Rudy!!

RUDY'S BIG BANG

Did you ever notice how Florida looks like a gun pointing down? Well today that gun could shoot Rudy in the foot. This is the day Rudy has been waiting for -- the Florida Primary. Never mind Iowa or New Hampshire or South Carolina or Michigan. For some reason known only to Rudy, he has placed all his hopes on Florida. I'm going on record right now that Rudy will lose and lose big. Hopefully he will pack his bags after the loss and go away.

RUDY CAN'T FAIL!!

America's Mayor continued his cunning strategy by losing the Michigan primary. Rudy came in 6th place, barely edging out "uncommitted."

Losing the first few primaries is Rudy's big plan. People will write him off and then - BAM! - he's going to pounce. There are some nay sayers -

The biggest surprise of the Giuliani campaign has been how successful he has been in spinning his failures and continuing to be considered a serious contender, despite an unblemished record of futility that has him on pace to be the largest flop of 2008 and one of the biggest busts in presidential campaign history.

But I think losing all of the primaries is a terrific plan, Rudy. Keep up the good work.

RUDY, MAKE WAY FOR THE FAT LADY

The fat lady is warming up to sing. Rudy may think that his plummeting numbers in the polls is all part of his plan but the harsh reality for Rudy is that the candidate with the MOST votes wins (unless you're our current President).

According to nearly every paper in the world, Rudy's "plan" of blowing off Iowa, New Hampshire, Michigan, South Carolina, and Nevada to focus on Florida is a bad plan.

New Polls Question Giuliani Florida Strategy

Inside Rudy Giuliani's Implosion

Is it Too Little Too Late to Save Giuliani’s Campaign?
Strategy May Doom Former New York Mayor’s Nomination

Maybe Mayor 9-11 remembers that W became President by winning Florida. But Rudy, you have to win a lot more states!

And you need to change your message --

Within the first five minutes, he ridiculed Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton and talked of his leadership on Sept. 11

Really!? Rudy mentioned 9-11!? But the Floridians weren't buying it --

Dozens of the more than 1,000 who attended the town hall event took off before Giuliani finished his speech, leaving rows of seats empty.

But if Rudy doesn't win Florida, he shouldn't worry -- I hear Mayor McCheese is stepping down.

LIFE BEYOND THE RIDGE

While being left in Bay Ridge has its merits, I'm thankful for the teletype that brings me news from beyond The Ridge.

The U.S. Will Leave Iraq When Hell Freezes Over

Baghdad residents enjoyed a rare snowy day today.

No, Really, I Can Win...

Despite a last place finish in Iowa, a poor showing in New Hampshire, and avoiding Michigan, South Carolina, and Nevada, Rudy Guliani is confident he can win the nomination.

...And He Doesn't Have Any Money

Race Ya For A Pack Of Smokes

Marion Jones gets 6 months in the Big House

RUDY-THE MUSICAL

And for those of you who prefer your Rudy in a song format.

HAVE I MENTIONED THIS BEFORE?

Maybe they should call Rudy "Johnny One Note" instead.

What? Exploit 9/11? Rudy?