SUPER SUNDAY

What's better than watching the NY Giants and the Super Bowl on a plasma TV? How about watching it all on five plasma TVs and a projection TV, while chowing down on wings, burgers, hot dogs, and subs -- all while sitting next to playboy bunny and NY Giants Girl Reby Sky!

And it's all right here in The Ridge!

Here's the info:

Where: Roxbury (315 93rd St. and 3rd Avenue).
Starts: 4 pm.
Admission: $80 (includes food and open bar for the duration of the game!)
Phone: 917-748-0029
Web: www.thesupergiant.com.

1.3 BILLION DONUTS, PLEASE

Dunkin' Donuts, proud sponsors of my high BMI, is going to open 100 stores in China. The first store will open in Shanghai.

I'm booking my ticket to China now.

POP-WRECK SECURED

Forget last night's Republican debate, forget the tragic Bay Ridge 'roid "suicide," forget the war in Iraq -- Britney Spears is back in the hospital!

The Pop-Wreck was escorted by dozens of police (and two helicopters) and taken to the UCLA Loony Ward, where she is under a 72 hour lock down.

Her psychiatrist thought she was a danger to herself -- under a state mental health statute known as 5150, an individual who is considered by a medical professional to be a danger to herself or others can be involuntarily committed to a mental institution.

The code word for her used by the police was "the package." I love that.

In the pop-wreck's defense, have you ever seen footage of her trying to get around town? It's a mob scene with all the paparazzi. Anyone would go mad.

And now I have to shower. I feel dirty from writing this post.

HE WANTED TO TALK TO GOD

Ever since 9-11 I've had a terrible fear of flying. This is something I do not want to see on any of my flights -

"A co-pilot was reportedly dragged screaming from the cockpit of a London-bound flight from Toronto after a suffering a mental breakdown...the co-pilot had said, 'he just wanted to talk to God.'"

Dude, if you want to talk to God do it on the ground. Not 15,000 feet above ground while I've got Xanax streaming through my bloodstream.

MY MORNING CABOODLE

What did I say!? What did I say?

The suicide of a Brooklyn pharmacy owner at the center of a multimillion-dollar steroid scandal is focusing more scrutiny on a mobbed-up movie producer, law enforcement sources said Tuesday.

The plot, she is a thickening.


RUDY RUDY RUDY


After running a crafty campaign, Rudy is dropping out of the race. Now what's next for America's Mayor? I hear he's going to open a 7-11 and change the name to 9-11.


BRITNEY HAS MENTAL ISSUES, Y'ALL



In some "welcome to the neighborhood" news, Britney Spears' manager said the pop-wreck has mental issues. Really!? Mental issues!? What a surprise!


BUT SHE'S GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY



Dubya wants to jump start the economy? Give us more of the pop-wreck. The Southern Nutjob contributes $110 million - $120 million to the economy. And she's certainly doing what she can -

she was spotted Sunday night with Mr. Lufti at the Hustler Hollywood sex shop, where the two reportedly picked up some saucy toys.

EDWARDS PROVES ME WRONG

I predicted John Edwards would wait until after Super Tuesday to drop out of the race, but the Old Grey Lady is reporting that Edwards will give his drop-out speech today in New Orleans.

I like John. Sometimes he can be a little smarmy but all in all I think he's a good guy.

Keep fighting the good fight, John!

'ROID RAGE - THE PLOT THICKENS

Newsday is reporting that Rossi might have been a key witness in an upcoming grand jury trial -

"he would have provided prosecutors an insider's view of the alleged crimes, answering critical questions such as where the steroids came from and who referred users to doctors willing to prescribe them."

Yipes! Sounds like a Law and Order episode.

RUDY WATCH - SECOND REPORT

With 62% reporting -

McCain - 36%
Romney - 31%
Rudy - 15%

McCain has been announced the winner (although we know what happened in Florida in 2000)

Hillary won in a landslide but doesn't get any delegates. Sort of a hollow victory for her.

RUDY WATCH - FIRST REPORT

With 35% reporting, Rudy's plan of lulling the others into a false sense of security is right on target.

McCain - 34%
Romney - 32%
Rudy - 15%

Go get 'em, Rudy!!

METS SIGN SANTANA

Mets fans rejoice. Two time Cy Young winner, Johan Santana is NY bound. Yeah, baby! Pitchers and catchers in a month!!

AWKWARD...

Oh geez, if this isn't awkward I don't know what is. Hillary leans over to shake Ted Kennedy's hand and chat for a few minutes, and Obama -- oh look, there's something really important I have to look at over here and I think I'll whistle a little tune --

Obama, the great uniter.

RUDY'S BIG BANG

Did you ever notice how Florida looks like a gun pointing down? Well today that gun could shoot Rudy in the foot. This is the day Rudy has been waiting for -- the Florida Primary. Never mind Iowa or New Hampshire or South Carolina or Michigan. For some reason known only to Rudy, he has placed all his hopes on Florida. I'm going on record right now that Rudy will lose and lose big. Hopefully he will pack his bags after the loss and go away.

'ROID RAGE

John Rossi, co-owner of Lowen's Pharmacy at 6902 3rd Ave. here in Bay Ridge, was found shot to death yesterday in an office above the pharmacy. As you may well know, Rossi was in the thick of a steroid investigation. Back in Sept. police seized about $8 million worth of steroids from the pharmacy.


Rossi was found dead of an apparent suicide (a note was found next to him that said "Please forgive me"). Rossi evidently shot himself in the chest, and then when that didn't work, shot himself in the head. And investigators said another slug was found in the room, but gave no details.

Despite the number of shots, the medical examiner's office deemed Rossi's death a suicide.

Three suicide shots? Peculiar.

"He wanted to make sure," explained a police source.

Oh, okay.

Rossi had also stuffed his ears with cotton. What!? He was going to kill himself but was afraid the noise might hurt his ears? Really peculiar.

Rossi was the subject of a criminal investigation and at the heart of an internal probe by the NYPD into steroid use among cops yet he was still allowed to keep a licensed gun? Super peculiar.

And for those of you who want a little Hollywood flair, the building where the pharmacy is located is owned by Rossi and Julius Nasso. Nasso used to be Steven Seagal's business partner and in 2002 --

FBI agents arrested Nasso on suspicion of conspiring to extort Seagal. The producer (Nasso) was charged alongside 16 people with alleged ties to the Gambino crime family.

Now there's a movie!

I wonder if the Preservationists and the Methodists used that pharmacy?

I GO AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS --

I go away for a few days and I come back and they've demolished (mostly) the funeral home on 4th Ave between 77th and 76th street. What the...?

The news awhile ago was that they were going to build a condo hi-rise. Yep, right smack between the church and the day school. And it's suppose to be taller than any of the other buildings near it. Maybe the builder has a small you-know-what.

OBAMA WHUPS BUTT

Obama is giving Hillary Clinton and John Edwards a good old fashioned whupping in the South Carolina primary.

With 81% reporting, Obama has 54% of the votes. Clinton is at 27% and John Edwards, who can't win his home state, has 19%.

This is a huge win for Obama, coming off losses in New Hampshire and Nevada.

So what will John Edwards do? My guess is he'll wait it out until Super Tuesday.

CAN I GET A LITTLE 411?

The battle for the Green Church Belt shows no signs of slowing down. Not only were there articles in The Daily News and Curbed, but The Rover has dedicated his blogged week to the fight.

The Rover brings up some items that I'll add to my "Can I Get a Little 411?" list.

Drumroll --

My "Can I Get a Little 411?" List:

1. Why did Rev. Emerick and the Methodist congregation turn down the proposal from Gentile and the Con Edison Renaissance Housing Program?

2. What was the proposal from Gentile and Con Ed?

3. I read that the church is falling apart and I also read that it's not falling apart? Which is it? Have any architects given the church the once over and determined whether it can be restored?

4. How much would it cost to repair the church? And I mean an official estimate.

5. Why haven't any of the preservationists been able to raise the money to buy the church?

6. Why haven't the 2 sides gotten together since March?

7. How many years has this thing been going on?

8. Did Dorcas Kimball, who lives next to the house that will be torn down if the sale proceeds as planned, hate her parents for naming her "Dorcas?"

9. Does Dorcas come from the famed Malorkus family?

10. What other lost causes have Gentile, Katherine Walker, and Victoria Hofmo (whose name sound like a Bavarian slur for a gay man) been behind? I'm intrigued.

11. What were the dishonest objections of Katherine Walker's Committee to Save the Green Church?

12. What are the "intellectual half-truths that paint the congregation as 'liars?'" Sounds scandalous.

13. Has there been a study done on what the impact of the "at least 50 condos" will have on the community?

14. How the hell did a mid-level banker lose 7 billion dollars!!??

15. Why is Emerick's congregation less than two dozen?

16. Have they though of holding services at Our Lady of Starbucks?

Okay, by the looks of the list, I don't know anything and I'm going to hell.

But can someone please give me the 411?

NEED A LAUGH

It's Friday and I could use a good laugh.

REST IN PEACE, BUT PACK A BAG

Okay, who saw the article about the Green Church in today's Daily News? As you know, there's a big brouhaha right now in Bay Ridge between Preservationists and the Methodist Church about whether to preserve the 108 year old building or tear it down (along with the building next to it and a limestone on the other side) to make way for a smaller church and a condo complex.

I was struck by this quote from the Church's pastor, Rev. Robert Emerick, about tearing down the church --

"Let us bury our dead in peace, councilman."

Being buried in peace seems to be relative over there at the church, because the 211 people who were reinterred from the original church will be --

"the very same dead who will now be dug up when the Green Church is torn down for condos."

Yipes! So much for resting in peace. And when asked about digging up the graves --

"Emerick was later quoted as referring to the remains as 'only dust.'"

Snap! But if the dust was say, oh I don't know, the dust of the bones of Jesus, would the remains be so easily moved?

You can be buried in peace over there, just make sure you pack a bag.

POLL RESULTS

Ooooo -- the results are in from the latest poll and it doesn't look good for our Commander in Chief. 57% think he is beyond the worst President ever. A catastrophic failure. Couple that with the 9% who think he's just plain old the worst President ever, and that's a whopping 66% that think he's -- well -- pretty darn horrible. 19% think he's the best President ever (most likely a drunken 19%) and 14% think he's no Fillmore but all in all he's been ok.

BUSH LIED!? WHAAAAAT!?

Some may call it beating a dead horse, but a new study has found that W and his minions lied to us about national security in the two-year run-up to the Iraq war. Shocking, I know. The study counted 935 -- 935!!?? -- lies (they call them false statements, I call them lies).

Other liars named along with W are Condi Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Paul Wolfowitz, Ari Fleischer, Scott McClellan, and of course, Vice-President Voldemort - the Dark Lord.

According to an AP report, the lies these liars told --

"were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses."

"In short, the Bush administration led the nation to war on the basis of erroneous information that it methodically propagated and that culminated in military action against Iraq on March 19, 2003."

W led all liars with 259 lies, while Colin Powell came in a close second with 244.

So job well done W and friends. You should be proud.

HEATH LEDGER - DEAD

Ok, here's some not so good news.

Actor Heath Ledger, one of the stars of "Brokeback Mountain, was found dead in his bed in his Manhattan apartment, at 3:35 p.m., New York City police said Tuesday. He was 28. Sleeping pills were found in the bed around him, police said. Until recently, Ledger lived in Brooklyn.

FRED THOMPSON - SPECIAL VICTIM UNIT

Ask and ye shall receive.

My day was brightened today by the news that Fred Thompson has dropped out of the presidential race. Yahoo! (Oh, I probably shouldn't mention yahoo today. A lot of layoffs are planned) I really have a hard time with a candidate who has said --

"I would do essentially what the president's doing in Iraq."

And that would be muck things up?

YOUR NAME IS WHAT!?

It's yet another gray day here in The Ridge. It's cold, the stock market is on a roller coaster, and pitchers and catchers don't report to camp until next month.

I need something to brighten my day.

GIANTS WIN!!!

HE MADE IT!!!!

The Giants win it in overtime, 23-20, stunning Green Bay at legendary Lambeauuuuu Fieeeeeld!!

And now NY is going to the Super Bowl!!!

We live to eat nachos another day!!

TRAYLOR - HOOKER

A good friend of mine sent me an email of wedding names that made her chuckle. I laughed out loud when I saw them. I give you the first one.

HAIRSTAYAWAY

One of the perks of being in SAG is I get a bunch of screeners this time of year. So tonight we watched Hairspray. Oy. It should have been called Hairsplay. Or Hairstayaway. Who thought casting John Travolta as Edna was a good idea? Maybe I'm biased since a friend of mine played Edna on Broadway, but oy oy oy. I know the film received good reviews but I think those reviewers were drunk. Or maybe I wasn't drunk enough.

Next - No Country for Old Men.

CHECKMATE!

Legendary chess Grandmaster, Bobby Fischer, has passed away. Listed as one of the five best endgame players and a master of bishop endings, Fischer came to his ending all too soon.

He died at age 64 and ooooo there are 64 squares on a chess board. Creepy.

WEINER WAR

The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Competition may be six months away, but the Weenie War is already (h)eating up.

Check out Matt Lysiak's article on his website.

TO PRESERVE OR NOT TO PRESERVE

Rover has posted quite the rant about preservationists, civic activists, and the infamous Green Church. And I think he hits the nail on the head when he writes -

Serious people who can find de jure solutions that put our community's shared truths (aesthetic, historical and infrastructural) on an equal administrative footing with those of developers'.
While, more importantly, recognizing a pragmatic and elemental truth in a compromise somewhere between an outright rejection of change, and unbridled development - with a watchful eye to beauty and utility.

Yes, the "activists" and politicians are up in arms about the fate of the Church and I think they should be rankled. I can't speak for anyone else but there are several issues that have me riled:

1. The Green Church comes right on the heels of the loss of three Victorians. The community was told by the Basile Builders Group that they were going to restore the Victorians and then they sneaked in under cover of night and tore them down.

2. Nearly three years ago, Congressman Vito Fossella created an “Over-Development Task Force” and even created a sub-task force to specifically study the Green Church, yet nothing has been heard from either - um - force.

3. The Preservationists and the Methodists have not come to the table since March to discuss options (and I thought the writer's strike was bad).

4. The Landmarks Preservation Commission has completely ignored the situation.

5. The possibility that a funeral home on 4th Ave. will be replaced with a seven-story condo complex.

Yeah, okay, number five seems a little out of place here but it has me riled and it comes back around soon.

6. The Methodists rejected a proposal from Gentile and the Con Edison Renaissance Housing Program yet I haven't seen what the details were of the proposal.

7. What seems like complete disregard of the community by Pastor Robert Emerick. (I hear he's a nice guy. Righty told me. But the Pastor hasn't come off too well in the press)

8. That freak chick from American Idol who's now getting more air time than she deserves.

Yeah, okay, number eight proves I need a life.

9. Where the hell has Marty Golden been during all of this?

It feels as if developers are coming in here with no regard for the community, for the aesthetics of the community, or for the community's infrastructure. We're being lied to and trampled on. I think the Green Church is a culmination of a lot of issues.

If The Ridge adds -- or what it feels like to me -- if The Ridge has thrust upon them fifty condos in place of the Church and a seven-story condo complex in place of a funeral home, who's going to come in and build new schools? Our schools are already overcrowded -

P.S. 170 Lexington School - overcrowded, so four classes are housed in trailers

P.S. 104 Fort Hamilton School - Unfortunately, the school grapples with overcrowding. Kindergarten classes, unable to fit into the main school, take place in a district building five blocks away. And middle school classrooms are too cramped to hold comfortably the 30 or so kids in each class.

P.S. 185 Walter Kassenbrock School - The school is overcrowded, with more than 700 children in a building designed for 500.

Who's going to come in and alleviate the new traffic problems? The new parking problems?

So, yes, Rover, we need a "compromise somewhere between an outright rejection of change and unbridled development."

WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' NACHOS!!

On my way to the post office today I saw that The Lone Star Bar and Grill will open soon at 87th and 5th. Along with the as yet unnamed "upscale Mexican" restaurant (Upscale Mexican? What, are they calling the chips and salsa an amuse-bouche?) it could be a gastronomical battle Sam Houston would be proud of.

GREEN CHURCH BILE

This whole Green Church mess has riled me. I've started this post about 20 times and it still sucks. But I'm going to just jump in on one thought:

Robert Tierney is on the take.

That's what I think. Getting money under the table. A little kickback. Some sweetener in his coffer. Getting some boodle. Getting grease gravy poured on his potatoes. Wearing a suit of Cow-Gal-Fringe Benefit. Dancing the compensation cha-cha.

I mean, how else do explain Robert Tierney, chair of the Landmarks Preservation Commission, stonewalling every attempt to discuss the Green Church? He's ignored 1200 letters, repeated requests from Councilman Gentile, Assemblywoman Hyer-Spencer, a preservation committee, and many residents of Bay Ridge.

No response. Nothing. The Green Church will be torn down and the chair of the Landmark's Commission will have ignored it.

And why?

Because he's in cahoots with someone and in return getting a little pocket lettuce. All he has to do is say he'll put the Green Church on the calendar, that his commission will look into it. But so far "mum" is all he's said.

And in my world, "mum" = "cahootsville."

POLL RESULTS

The results are in from the "What does John Kerry's endorsement mean for Barack Obama?" poll and "Hello White House" won by a landslide, getting 60% of the votes. Although once again I am suspicious of the results because of word that a certain someone from Los Angeles stuffed the ballot.

34% don't care what John Kerry thinks and 2% think his endorsement is the Kiss of Death.

Thank you to all of you who voted...and to those of you who voted often.

RUDY CAN'T FAIL!!

America's Mayor continued his cunning strategy by losing the Michigan primary. Rudy came in 6th place, barely edging out "uncommitted."

Losing the first few primaries is Rudy's big plan. People will write him off and then - BAM! - he's going to pounce. There are some nay sayers -

The biggest surprise of the Giuliani campaign has been how successful he has been in spinning his failures and continuing to be considered a serious contender, despite an unblemished record of futility that has him on pace to be the largest flop of 2008 and one of the biggest busts in presidential campaign history.

But I think losing all of the primaries is a terrific plan, Rudy. Keep up the good work.

SHAMELESS AGAIN ALREADY

When it comes to resolutions, sometimes it village. And my friend, Betsey, is a villager extraordinaire. I barely uttered the words, "shameless plug" and it showed up on her blog at the Orlando Sentinel.

So now I'm at Shameless Plug #2.

Betsey is a wonderful woman and a theatre critic. (I know, when did you ever think you'd see "wonderful" and "theatre critic" in the same sentence?)

But if you like theatre you should read Betsey's blog, Attention Must Be Paid.

SHAMELESS

2008 may be the Year of the Rat but it's also the Year of the Shameless Plug. So to kick things off, I offer up the first shameless plug of the year. I'm the featured playwright at my publisher's website, Dramatic Publishing.

#1 Shameless Plug

TA TA, TANNENBAUM

We bid a fond farewell to our Christmas tree last night. It was a beautiful and perfect tree. We shall miss it greatly.

RUDY, MAKE WAY FOR THE FAT LADY

The fat lady is warming up to sing. Rudy may think that his plummeting numbers in the polls is all part of his plan but the harsh reality for Rudy is that the candidate with the MOST votes wins (unless you're our current President).

According to nearly every paper in the world, Rudy's "plan" of blowing off Iowa, New Hampshire, Michigan, South Carolina, and Nevada to focus on Florida is a bad plan.

New Polls Question Giuliani Florida Strategy

Inside Rudy Giuliani's Implosion

Is it Too Little Too Late to Save Giuliani’s Campaign?
Strategy May Doom Former New York Mayor’s Nomination

Maybe Mayor 9-11 remembers that W became President by winning Florida. But Rudy, you have to win a lot more states!

And you need to change your message --

Within the first five minutes, he ridiculed Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton and talked of his leadership on Sept. 11

Really!? Rudy mentioned 9-11!? But the Floridians weren't buying it --

Dozens of the more than 1,000 who attended the town hall event took off before Giuliani finished his speech, leaving rows of seats empty.

But if Rudy doesn't win Florida, he shouldn't worry -- I hear Mayor McCheese is stepping down.

RIP MVP

The baseball world and Brooklyn suffered a great loss Sunday night as Brooklyn Dodger pitching great, Johnny Podres, passed away at age 75.

Podres won 2 games, including the decisive 7th game, in the 1955 World Series against the Yankees. The victory, at the House That Ruth Built, gave the Brooklyn Dodgers their only World Series Championship.

Rest in Peace, Johnny.

BARACK MEETING IN THE RIDGE

For all you Barack supporters, there's an organizational meeting tomorrow night (Tuesday the 15th), 7:30pm at Mazza Plaza, 80th and 5th.

GET IN LINE NOW!

The Giants beat the hated Cowboys and will head to Green Bay for the NFC Championship. The Ridge was teeming with people in Giants jerseys today. Next week I think Marty Golden will be make the wearing of jerseys mandatory. The bars will be packed so I suggest you get in line now at one of our many watering holes.

LIFE BEYOND THE RIDGE

While being left in Bay Ridge has its merits, I'm thankful for the teletype that brings me news from beyond The Ridge.

The U.S. Will Leave Iraq When Hell Freezes Over

Baghdad residents enjoyed a rare snowy day today.

No, Really, I Can Win...

Despite a last place finish in Iowa, a poor showing in New Hampshire, and avoiding Michigan, South Carolina, and Nevada, Rudy Guliani is confident he can win the nomination.

...And He Doesn't Have Any Money

Race Ya For A Pack Of Smokes

Marion Jones gets 6 months in the Big House

TRAFFIC CONGESTION

It seems our traffic woes out here in The Ridge are known throughout the land. We were mentioned in an article in the Old Gray Lady about whether Bloomberg should run for President -

“People might be saying, ‘C’mon, do your job,’ ” said Maurice Carroll, director of the polling institute at Quinnipiac. “Maybe people are thinking, ‘Look, it’s such a long shot; why don’t you think about what to do about traffic congestion in Bay Ridge?’ ”

Mike, what's it going to be?

NOTHING FITS

Since the latest posts on The Ridge blogs seem to be retail related, I thought I'd mention the store "Nothing Fits." "Nothing Fits" is an ill-named store on the corner of 86th and 5th here in The Ridge. Who decided to call it "Nothing Fits?" Who thought that was a good name? I mean, why not call it "Does This Make My Ass Look Big?"

RUDY-THE MUSICAL

And for those of you who prefer your Rudy in a song format.

HAVE I MENTIONED THIS BEFORE?

Maybe they should call Rudy "Johnny One Note" instead.

What? Exploit 9/11? Rudy?

SILENCE IS MARTY GOLDEN

I was walking passed Marty Golden's office today and two people who work for him were outside taking a smoke break. One of the guys was very animated and pointing with vehemence. He was complaining about being singled out for something. It turns out the guys was imitating Marty. As I passed I heard the other guy say, "So what's wrong with that?"

To which the other guy replied, "Because Marty is an a**hole!"

And this coming from someone who works for Marty. Marty may want to ask them to take their smoke breaks in the back of the building.

**It seems some people were confused by the donkey in the well picture. So I'll try this one. Brit? Boy in LA? Comments?



And if that is still too subtle, how about this one?